Why do you have a complaint about me on your Web page?

I get asked this question a lot. The short answer is: I don't. What you just read is the output of Scott Pakin's Automatic Complaint-Letter Generator, a program I wrote that randomly generates complaint letters on demand.

The idea is that someone—almost certainly whoever pointed you to my page—entered your name into the Automatic Complaint-Letter Generator form at https://www.pakin.org/complaint. The result was the rambling but (I hope) grammatically correct complaint letter of the type you just read. It's intended to be funny, but apparently, some people don't share my sense of humor. That's why I wrote this page explaining my program.

Can you remove the complaint about me from your site?

No, but don't worry; complaint letters are never stored on my site. Each time my server is asked for a complaint letter, it generates a brand-new one and sends it right to your Web browser without even touching my disks.

Who entered my name into your program?

I have no idea. A Web server has no way to tell who's on the other side of the connection. That's just the way the Internet works.

Why did you e-mail me a complaint letter?

I didn't. I never e-mail complaint letters to anyone, especially people I don't even know. If you received a complaint in the mail, check the From line—that's who sent it to you.

N.B.: If you receive an e-mail complaint that appears to have my e-mail address in the From line, please forward me the entire message, headers included. This is certainly a forgery, and I will want to investigate it.

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