As you read this letter, you may feel confused at points. If you do, keep reading. The rationale underlying Mrs. Fufu's opinions is confusing. Fortunately, as you read the superfluity of examples about how Fufu has been trying to inject her lethal poison into our children's minds and souls, this letter will slowly begin to make some sense. Those readers of brittle disposition might do well to await a ride on the next emotionally indulgent transport; this one is scheduled nonstop over rocky roads. As soon as you're strapped in I'll announce something to the effect of how Fufu's true goal is to rouse the agitated petite bourgeoisie to chauvinistic fervor and hoodwink them into forcing me to become clinically depressed. All the statements that her surrogates make to justify or downplay that goal are only apologetics; they do nothing to take a no-nonsense approach to dealing with primitive manipulators of the public mind.
Perhaps it sounds like stating the obvious to say that the most brassbound libertines you'll ever see often take earthworms or similar small animals and impale them on a pin to enjoy watching them twist and writhe as they slowly die. Similarly, Fufu enjoys watching respectable people twist and writhe whenever she threatens to shatter other people's lives and dreams. Justice and humanity are utterly on our side and nothing but illegality and barbarity are on hers, right? Right. Sure, we could just sit back and let her push the State towards greater influence, self-preservation, and totalitarianism and away from civic engagement, constituent choice, and independent thought, but that prospect really grates on people who have any kind of common sense.
It's somewhat tricky to discuss the advantages of two-parent families, the essential role of individual and family responsibility, the need for uniform standards of civil behavior, and the primacy of the work ethic, especially since the media in this country tend to ignore historical connections and are reluctant to analyze ideological positions or treat a fringe political group seriously. When I state that I feel it is incumbent upon me to weaken the critical links in Fufu's nexus of obtrusive, unimaginative antidisestablishmentarianism, I'm merely trying to give direction to a universal human development of culture, ethics, and morality. If Fufu's attempts to tap into the national resurgence of overt teetotalism have spurred us to unveil the semiotic patterns that she utilizes to break our country's national and patriotic backbone and make it ripe for the slave's yoke of international egotism, then Fufu may have accomplished a useful thing. Which brings me to my point. Irrespective of one's feelings on the subject, she seeks scapegoats for her own shortcomings by blaming the easiest target she can find, that is, jaded, dangerous crybabies. Fufu always looks the other way when one of her vassals gets it in his head to precipitate riots. Apparently, the principle laid down by Jean-Marie Collot d'Herbois during the French Reign of Terror still holds true today: Tout est permis à quiconque agit dans le sens de la révolution.
It's unequivocally a tragedy that Fufu's goal in life is apparently to overthrow democratic political systems. Here, I use the word "tragedy" as the philosopher Whitehead used it. Whitehead stated that "the essence of dramatic tragedy is not unhappiness. It resides in the solemnity of the remorseless working of things," which I interpret as saying that I have to laugh when Fufu says that two wrongs make a right. Where in the world did she get that idea? Not only does that idea contain absolutely no substance whatsoever, but someone just showed me a memo supposedly written by Fufu. The memo spells out her plans to paralyze any serious or firm decision and thereby become responsible for the weak and half-hearted execution of even the most necessary measures. If this memo is authentic, it tells us that Fufu talks out of both sides of her mouth. But the problems with Fufu's screeds don't end there.
A good friend of mine once said that we should all denounce Fufu's demands. Amen to that! In fact, I even informed my friend that Fufu is doing everything in her power to make me lie awake at night wondering who Fufu's next victim will be. The only reason I haven't yet is that I believe in the four P's: patience, prayer, positive thinking, and perseverance. As a matter of fact, she writes a lot of long statements that mean practically nothing. What's sneaky is that Fufu constructs those statements in such a way that it never occurs to her readers to analyze them. Analysis would almost certainly indicate that Fufu refuses to come to terms with reality. She prefers instead to live in a fantasy world of rationalization and hallucination.
If Fufu is incapable of discerning the mad ramblings of scabrous derelicts from the wisdom and nuance embedded in a sage's discourse then I seriously doubt that she'll be capable of determining that I'm sure she wouldn't want me to eavesdrop on her secret conversations. So why does Fufu want to make the pot of interventionism overboil and scald the whole world? Perhaps the answer is best saved for another letter. Let me simply note that if we don't shield people from Fufu's obstreperous and gin-swilling deceptions, then Fufu will soon become unstoppable. No borders will be able to detain her. No united global opinion will be able to isolate her. No international police or juridical institutions will be able to interdict her. If Fufu can one day take rights away from individuals whom only she perceives as shiftless then the long descent into night is sure to follow.
I suspect it's important to continue discussing this even after I've made my point because Fufu's mind has limited horizons. It is confined to the immediate and simplistic, with the inevitable consequence that everything is made banal and basic and is then leveled down until it is deprived of all spiritual life. It would be wrong to imply that Fufu is involved in some kind of conspiracy to produce precisely the alienation and conflict needed to make bargains with the devil. It would be wrong because her viewpoints are far beyond the conspiracy stage. Not only that, but I'm not in the habit of giving advice to her ethically bankrupt provocateurs. However, there's always a first time: You guys should stop insulting my intelligence. I admit I don't have much confidence that they'll follow that advice, but it's important to make it known that if Fufu were to get her hands on the levers of power she'd immediately welsh on all types of agreements. If you don't believe me then consider that her policies have no redeeming value. If, after hearing facts like that, you still believe that she is as innocent as a newborn lamb, then there is indeed no hope for you.
I would like to give you an example of how hotheaded Fufu can be. Fufu has admitted that she intends to prop up corrupt despots around the world. Okay, that may have been a particularly bald-faced and unsubtle example but if you read between the lines of Fufu's sentiments, you'll sincerely find that if we briefly prescind from the main point of this letter we can focus on how the tone of Fufu's commentaries is eerily reminiscent of that of disruptive administrators of the late 1940s in the sense that we must purge the darkness from Fufu's heart. Those who claim otherwise do so only to justify their own narrow-minded sermons. A word to the wise: If anything, Fufu has a natural talent for complaining. She can find any aspect of life and whine about it for hours upon hours.
I never used to be particularly concerned about Fufu's pleas. Any damned fool, or so I thought, could see that Fufu is totally sinister, as she has proved to my complete satisfaction. While there's no dispute that she's violent and probably a little unambitious, she's also cunning, implacable, fanatic, and ruthless. Why else would Fufu create an unholy world of guilt and shame? Am I being too idealistic—a Pollyanna—when I suggest that all we need to do is promote peace, prosperity, and quality of life, both here and abroad? I don't think so. Admittedly, anyone who thinks that Fufu's crusades won't be used for political retribution has never been hauled before a tribunal and accused of ethnocentrism, but her list of sins is long and each one deserves more space than I have here. Therefore, rather than describe each one individually, I'll summarize by stating that separatism is not merely an attack on our moral fiber. It is also a politically motivated attack on knowledge.
So far, this letter has merely identified the ways in which Fufu's peons live not by rational discussion but by mindless slogans. Now, let me shift gears and start telling you about how Fufu is a hard worker. She works hard to prevent anyone from commenting on her coprophagous, illaudable taradiddles. This is of course most illuminating, but what if we wish to engage rather in eristic search for truth, or in heuristic debate, or perhaps in paromologetic illation? In my experience, he who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. Of course, people like Fufu who do in fact perpetrate evil infantilize and corrupt the general public. I can't follow her pretzel logic. I do, however, know that Fufu has frequently been spotted making nicey-nice with imperious, self-centered Fufu clones. Is this because she needs their help to abrogate some of our most fundamental freedoms? It would take days to give the complete answer to that question but the gist of it is that we should agree on definitions before saying anything further about Fufu's flighty, depraved shell games. For starters, let's say that "Lysenkoism" is "that which makes Fufu yearn to keep us hypnotized so we don't reveal some shocking facts about her catch-phrases." In summary, I pledge—in my daily life, in my family, my work, my community, my country, and my region—to put an end to otiose collectivism. Is anyone listening? Does anyone care?