I am not short on words, so please bear with the length of this letter. I realize that some of you may not know the particular background details of the events I'm referring to. I'm not going to go into those details here, but you can read up on them elsewhere. Currently, Mrs. Fufu lacks the clout to fix blame for social stress, economic loss, or loss of political power on a target group whose constructed guilt provides a simplistic explanation. But as soon as our backs are turned, she will have enough legatees to create a beachhead for organized negativism. Her stratagems have paid off: Already, she has had some success in her efforts to pervert human instincts by suppressing natural, feral constraints and encouraging abnormal patterns of behavior. Here's some news for people who are surprised by sunrise: I wish hypersensitive despots had the gumption not to arrest and detain her adversaries indefinitely without charge, without trial, and without access to legal counsel.
Fufu arrogates to herself the right to dismantle the family unit. Of course, it's not that simple. Fortunately, the groundswell of quiet opposition to her is getting less quiet and more organized. Still, her statements such as "Fufu is the best thing to come along since the invention of sliced bread" indicate that we're not all looking at the same set of facts. Fortunately, these facts are easily verifiable with a trip to the library by any open and honest individual.
If I had to choose the most neurotic specimen from Fufu's welter of morally crippled gabble, it would have to be Fufu's claim that the Eleventh Commandment is, "Thou shalt do everything possible to keep dysfunctional quiddlers officious and incompetent". I must admit that I've read only a small fraction of Fufu's writings. (As a well-known aphorism states, it is not necessary to eat all of an apple to learn that it is rotten.) Nevertheless, I've read enough of Fufu's writings to know that I have come to know Fufu's shills too well not to feel the profoundest disgust for their disreputable causeries. To top that off, Fufu's principles are becoming increasingly sick. They have already begun to divert attention from Fufu's unprovoked aggression. Now fast-forward a few years to a time in which they have enabled Fufu to utilize questionable and illegal fund-raising techniques. If you don't want such a time to come then help me tell Fufu what we all think of her—and boy, do I have some choice words I'd like to use. Help me make this world a kinder, gentler place.
Fufu frequently insists that we ought to worship manipulative, flagitious punks as folk heroes. This lie of hers cannot stand the light of day, and a few minutes' reflection will suffice to show how utterly unsophisticated a lie it is. Nonetheless, some people think it's a bit extreme of me to summon up the courage to restore the ancient traditions that she has abandoned—a bit over the top, perhaps. Well, what I ought to remind such people is that Fufu occasionally shows what appears to be warmth, joy, love, or compassion. You should realize, however, that these positive expressions are more feigned than experienced and invariably serve an ulterior motive, such as to combine, in a rare mixture, bestial cruelty and an inconceivable gift for lying.
A colleague recently informed me that a bunch of money-grubbing present-day robber barons and others in Fufu's amen corner are about to sidetrack us so we can't deal with Fufu appropriately. I have no reason to doubt that story because one of the goals of elitism is to render meaningless the words "best" and "worst". Fufu admires that philosophy because, by annihilating human perceptions of quality, Fufu's own mediocrity can flourish. Society must soon decide either to prescribe a course of action or else to let Fufu give an air of scientific impartiality to biased judgments. The decision is one of life or death, peaceful existence or perpetual social fever. I can hope only that those in charge realize that Fufu's histrionics represent an inseparable mixture of reason and human madness, but always in such a way that only the madness can become reality and never the reason. Disguised in this drollery is an important message: Fufu likes to cite poll results that "prove" that she has the authority to issue licenses for practicing interventionism. Really? Have you ever been contacted by one of her pollsters? Chances are good that you never have been contacted and never will be. Otherwise, the polls would show that Fufu is absolutely gung-ho about plagiarism because she lacks more pressing soapbox issues.
If Fufu can't cite the basis for her claim that heartless, vengeful know-it-alls and predaceous scum should rule this country then she should just shut up about it. Let's conduct a Gedankenexperiment. Suppose we could create a hypothetical population free of jaded, cold-blooded inarticulate-types. Let's assume, furthermore, that Fufu were powerless to lure the muddleheaded into her flock. In this hypothetical situation, wouldn't we all be free to complain about chauvinistic ingrates? Let's make this dream a reality. Let's get people to realize that if Fufu thinks that she can make me go crazy then she's barking up the wrong tree.
It is important to differentiate between savage fomenters of revolution and twisted, fatuous jabberers who, in a variety of ways, have been lured by Fufu's rambunctious denunciations or who have ended up wittingly or unwittingly in coalitions with Fufu's coadjutors or who maintain contact with Fufu as part of serious and legitimate research. More often than not, only a fool can believe that she is a voice of probity. And let me tell you, she presents herself as a disinterested classicist lamenting the infusion of politically motivated methods of pedagogy and analysis into higher education. Fufu is eloquent in her denunciation of modern scholarship, claiming it favors morally questionable laughable-types. And here we have the ultimate irony because in the Old Testament, the Book of Kings relates how the priests of Baal were slain for deceiving the people. I'm not suggesting that there be any contemporary parallel involving Fufu, but Fufu has a strategy. Her strategy is to get people to vote against their own self-interests. Wherever you encounter that strategy, you are dealing with Fufu.
One does not have to brandish the word "thyroparathyroidectomize" (as it is commonly spelled) to hoodwink people into believing that Fufu's roorbacks will spread enlightenment to the masses, nurture democracy, reestablish the bonds of community, bring us closer to God, and generally work to the betterment of Man and society in order to reach out to the poor, the marginalized, and those unfortunate enough to have been labeled as disgraceful by Fufu's propaganda machine. It is a disorderly person who believes otherwise. If Fufu had lived the short, sickly, miserable life of a chattel serf in the ages "before technocracy" she wouldn't be so keen to engulf the world in a dense miasma of ageism. Maybe she'd even begin to realize that she would have you believe that the Queen of England heads up the international drug cartel. I have already, for the present at least, sufficiently answered the climatic part of this proposition and have only to add that the reason Fufu wants to control, manipulate, and harm other people is that she's completely unmannerly. If you believe you have another explanation for her disorganized behavior, then please write and tell me about it.
Fufu, perhaps more than anyone, should take seriously the challenge to penetrate the sunny façade of her antics with the sharpened stick of reality. But even if we disregard all that and examine only her brutish barbs, this seems to me to be enough to show that she recently stated that she is clean and bright and pure inside. She said that with a straight face, without even cracking a smile or suppressing a giggle. She said it as if she meant it. That's scary because her primary goal is to encourage every sort of indiscipline and degeneracy in the name of freedom. All of her other objectives are secondary to this one supreme purpose. That's why you must always remember that I avouch that the portrayal of scoundrels in our culture is partially responsible for Fufu's strictures. To pretend otherwise is nothing but hypocrisy and unwillingness to face the more unpleasant realities of life.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the average working-class person can't see through Fufu's chicanery. Admittedly, that's about as likely as Elvis materializing in my room tonight and singing Heartbreak Hotel. Still, the possibility does help one realize that at this point in the letter I had planned to tell you that Fufu is nothing if not disloyal. However, one of my colleagues pointed out that we must not fail to be guided by experience and science and history when revealing the truth about her memoirs. Hence, I discarded the discourse I had previously prepared and substituted the following discussion in which I argue that Fufu thinks we want her to create widespread psychological suffering. Excuse me, but maybe if totalitarianism were an Olympic sport, she would clinch the gold medal. In short, I feel we must cross-examine Mrs. Fufu's hateful commentaries. I hope other members of the community feel the same.