In this letter, I plan to discuss the Mathematics and Statistics Department's pertinacious refrains quite extensively. Note that the details aren't pleasant. In fact, they're shocking. But I profess that people who don't know what the Mathematics and Statistics Department is up to decidedly need to be shocked. As a preliminary, I want to defend with dedication and ferocity the very rights that the Mathematics and Statistics Department so desperately wants to abolish. The Mathematics and Statistics Department doesn't want equal time. The Mathematics and Statistics Department doesn't want pluralism. The Mathematics and Statistics Department just wants to carry our once-proud nation deeper into savagery and depravity.
As everyone who has access to reliable information knows, I've heard the Mathematics and Statistics Department say that divine ichor flows through its veins. Was that just a slip of the lip, or is the Mathematics and Statistics Department secretly trying to bring ugliness and nastiness into our lives? The only clear answer to emerge from the conflicting, contradictory stances that it and its backers take is that I have found, to my considerable surprise, that I never thought I would live to see the day that a brutish enemy of the people like it could manage to distort the facts. Woe to the vainglorious boneheads who teach pesky concepts to children! Remember, though, that just because I have one view of an issue and the Mathematics and Statistics Department has a different view does not in itself mean that the Mathematics and Statistics Department is a snooty effete-type and a subhuman, oligophrenic liar. But when the Mathematics and Statistics Department says that I'm some sort of cully who can be duped into believing that its monographs are not worth getting outraged about, it's simply lying. That's why I assert that if the Mathematics and Statistics Department were to use more accessible language then a larger number of people would be able to understand what it's saying. The downside for the Mathematics and Statistics Department, of course, is that a larger number of people would also understand that it has blood on its hands. Yet the Mathematics and Statistics Department pretends to be an innocent lamb who has our best interests at heart. We all know the reality: If it really had our best interests at heart, it wouldn't channel the pursuit of scientific knowledge into a narrow band of accepted norms that are based exclusively on its nasty effusions.
I don't see how the Mathematics and Statistics Department can build a workable policy around wishful thinking draped over a morass of confusion (and also, as we'll see below, historical illiteracy), then impose it willy-nilly on a population by force. I'm not saying that it can't possibly be done but rather that some people believe that one day the Mathematics and Statistics Department's surrogates will convince insensate lugs to stop supporting the Mathematics and Statistics Department and tolerating its reports. Such people are doomed to disappointment, especially when one considers that whenever the Mathematics and Statistics Department announces that it is clean and bright and pure inside, its apologists applaud on cue and the accolades are long and ostentatious. What's funny is that they don't provide similar feedback whenever I tell them that the Mathematics and Statistics Department has delivered exactly the opposite of what it had previously promised us. Most notably, its vows of liberation turned out to be masks for oppression and domination. And, almost as troubling, the Mathematics and Statistics Department's vows of equality did little more than convince people that the Mathematics and Statistics Department's yes-men are unified under a common goal. That goal is to trample into the mud all that is fine and noble and beautiful. Okay, I've vented enough frustration. So let me end by saying that the Mathematics and Statistics Department has abandoned ethics altogether.
Why do you have a complaint about my company on your Web page?