AOL blurb about my complaint-letter generator

John M. Scalzi, II, who edits a humor area on America Online, designated the automatic complaint-letter generator his "Super Mega Cool Link of the Week" the week of December 8, 1996. The following is the little blurb he wrote about it.


Super Mega Cool Link of the Week:
SCOTT PAKIN'S AUTOMATIC COMPLAINT GENERATOR

We discovered this one a couple of years ago (the fact that it still exists means it's one of the oldest web sites in existence!) and it's still one of our favorites. Simply enter the name of the person you want to complain about, how many paragraphs you want to complain for, and press a button. In seconds, a hot and piping complaint letter pops out of the chute. Here's a sample, and to keep from being sued, I'll complain about myself:

"There are some comments I need to make regarding John Scalzi. Let's get down to business: Even John's horoscope says he's deranged. Yes, I realize that his recommendations just don't stand up, but for the sake of brevity I've had to express myself in simplified terms. I wouldn't even mention that we must hold not only him, but also his cronies, accountable for their callous insults if it weren't really true. For better or for worse, much of his behavior is not rationally calculated to be of benefit to the worthless warmongers whom he claims to be trying to help. What John fails to mention in his assertions is actually quite telling. For example, did you know that John wants to impose tremendous hardships on tens of thousands of decent, hard-working individuals? Or that John's thralls are blinded by greed? He must think that being pigheaded entitles one to interfere with the most important principles of democracy."

Whew! Think how long you'd have to take to actually think and type all that up yourself! Now you can have a computer do it for you. Isn't the World Wide Web Wonderful? Go on! You have someone you want to complain about; don't we all?"